Uncle Earl’s Daily Dungeon Diary 5 November – LEG DAY

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Updated: November 5, 2014
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Everyone knows life can be a metaphysical meatgrinder, beating you up and beating you down with the day-to-day pressures that are omnipresent in our modern world. The cell phone rings constantly, the boss wants this report, your kid’s goddamn principal called again, the car needs an oil change and you gotta go buy the damn groceries.

It always helps to step outside of that bullshit, get your blood pumping or your mind racing a little, and do something that is ONLY FOR YOU. Some people like to hit up spin class, other folks jump off at the tavern and crush a few bourbons, and others like to curl up with the latest Danielle Steele pulp and get their escapist romance on. I am not into cardio, I don’t drink as much as I’d like to anymore, and Danielle Steel makes me want to snack on a .38 round.

I like to go and lift some heavy shit, and then set it back down. Repeat, bastard, repeat. That is my mantra. I invite you to join me. It’s all good, and it’s good for you. And check back on Fridays for my man R-O’s selection of our Fit Girl Friday selection from Instagram.

Lift, lower, replace. Repeat, bastard, repeat. Concentric, eccentric. isometric. It’s all work.

Check in here for my daily log from whatever spot I make my dungeon. I might be doing a little fluff and buff in the gym, it may be heavy volume squat work in my garage.

But somewhere, I am getting away from it all and grinding out those reps.

Wednesday 5 NOVEMBER 2014 – LEG DAY

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Start out with the King of All Exercises, ever.  Squats.  There is no other move that is so respected, feared, and under-practiced.  Widowmakers, Squats and Milk, the Steve Reeves Challenge, the 28 Day Challenge.  It’s always fucking funny to me that girls are ballsier and more hardcore about squatting than dudes.  Shit, in my local gym, there are always more chicks getting under a loaded bar than there are dudes.

That’s because most dudes are pussies.  And they should not be.  You need to squat, no matter what your gender, sexual preference, or freakin’ home planet.  If you are a MAN, squats give you a base to grow.  Your upper body will take off like a rocket as soon as you mix in heavy squats, which when done, dump testosterone and HGH into your system.  They don’t just blow up your wheels, they load your back and chest and guns.

If you are a lady, well, the cool chicks have known for a while what squatting will do for you.  Ask Jen Selter, who incorporates a couple squat moves into the workout that created a booty that launched a thousand ships.  Squats are the best.

So get in the hole.  I tend to do a lot of volume when I squat (I’m a cat who digs leg day) so if volume isn’t your thing, apply my deadlift rule-of-thumb and figure out the damn thing yourself.

Squats – 10 x 135, 10 x 205, 10 x 225, 10 x 265, 8 x 275, 3 x 6 x 315, 20 x 235, 10 x 245, 30 x 135  I finish with a high-rep set with a plate on each side, because I bullshit myself that it takes the place of any boring-ass cardio work.  Also, I am set up to start my front squat work, because I like my quads to look nice come Beach Day.

Front Squats – 10 x 135, 10 x 145, 2 x 10 x 155, 8 x 175.  16 sets of squats.  Nothing to write home about, but not a chickenshit jump-off for leg day either.

Hit the hack squat machine up for 5 sets.  You should be toasty from your barbell squats, so figure out a set/rep scheme that revolves around approximately 5 of 10, and don’t blow your whole bankroll yet.

Next, we roll over to the Leg Press. It’s easy to cheat the machine (unlike the iron, from whence we have come a little while ago) so don’t do it.  No hands on your knees, halfway-Harry douchebag reps.  If you gotta do all that shit there is too much weight racked up.  Position your feet high on the platform so you get the hamstrings involved (even though they are probably a little fucked up from deadlifting yesterday- so what) and make sure you bring those knees way down near your chest.  It’s a good exercise if you don’t cheat the shit out of it.

Leg Press – 15 x 270, 15 x 320, 3 x 10 x 500 and get out of there, some donkey wants to do his calf work there, the clown.  Besides, we have more to do.

Seated Calves – Nice and easy.  10 x 135, 10 x 160, 3 x 10 x 185 and out.

Get some water and hobble over to the quad machine.  You thought the front squats were the only quad work?  Silly bastard.  Hold the contraction at the end of each extension.

Leg extension – 10 x 190, 10 x 220, 3 x 10 x 230.  Then cut the weight in half and go to failure immediately after the last set.  I only shoved 8 out at 145.  Cowardly.

After that it’s hamstring work.  Hit both machines, seated hamstring curls and laying hammies.  Figure out 5 sets on each piece, and get your stretch on.  You should be tuckering out by now.

And now, my friends, we are nearly at the end of our leg day, but we have to stand and deliver on the calf machine before we go home.  Load it heavy, your calves are strong and ready for a beating, so oblige them.  I went with 10 x 360, 10 x 450, and then 3 x 10 x 500.  If you can’t walk down the stairs back to your car, slide down the bannister.  Leg day is done.

And here is a little inspiration, in case you are one of those lost souls out there that fears leg day… Tom “Quadzilla” Platz, delivering the goods like UPS on Christmas Eve.