Jon Stewart Crunches the Numbers – Comes Up With FUCK YOU, AIG

Updated: October 10, 2014
jon stewart

Jon Stewart and his Daily Show media outlet have been the source of some epic rants over the years, putting rich,greedy, arrogant pricks in their places on the regular.  I’m not sure about you, but the $184.6 Billion bailout you, me and Uncle Sam delivered to Hank Greenberg and AIG Insurance Co. in 2008 was one of the more maddening events in our country’s history.

In case you’ve blocked this pathetic event from your memory bank, I’ll bring you up to speed.  The Federal Government wrote a check to AIG for 90% of its holdings, which at the time, were valued at $15 Billion.  $186.4B for $15B?  According to Jon Stewart, that math equals a FUCK YOU.

Fast-forward to 2014 and the insurance giant’s former CEO, Hank Greenberg is SUING THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT  over the $184 billion bailout. Greenberg’s lawyer is calling the terms of the bailout “extortion” despite the fact that the government overpaid for its stake in AIG by what Stewart estimated to be more than 1,000 percent.

Some entertaining excerpts from Stewart’s monologue:

“Hello, Mr. Greenberg,” Stewart said, impersonating a loan officer. “You’ve asked us for $184.6 billion for 90 percent of your company, which is only worth $15 billion … go f*ck yourself.”

“You’re angry that they wouldn’t lend to you at less than 14 percent,” Stewart said. “Yeah, we hate it, too, only we call it having a credit card. And we don’t sue over those rates because we can’t.”

“As a rule, Stewart said, extortionists and kidnappers try to extract money from their victims — not take their dog, force them to accept a large cash payment and then return the dog anyway. ”

“Your loan terms were worse than the banks’ because you were insolvent. You should know how that works — you’re an insurance company,” Stewart said. “Putting the screws to people in their lowest moments is what you do.”

Go Fuck Yourself Hank Greenberg!