Hey Disney, ABC And ESPN: The ESPYs Are A God Damn Disgrace

Updated: July 16, 2015

The ESPYs has always been the most contrived bullshit awards show on the planet. Worse yet, ESPN always stuffs this crap show down our gullets on literally the worst sports’ night of the entire year. The show is completely unwatchable, yet if you’re a sports’ fan you pretty much have to watch it because there are literally no games on due to the baseball All-Star break. This year the show seemed to sink to new lows and for the first time it was broadcast on network television on ABC. The only reason the show was on ABC was because the powers that be gave Caitlyn Jenner the Arthur Ashe courage award. As it turns out, this award was not given on the right terms. This falls in line with all of the ESPYs that are handed out every year as the most deserving winner in each category doesn’t win unless they show up for the show. That’s actually the criteria for winning an award, showing up for the show. This is just one part of the many debacles that ensued on the show this year. Let’s go over some of the lowlights and review this steaming pile of crap that Disney produced this year.

  • We might as well start with Caitlyn Jenner as she was the big draw this year. ESPN’s recent formula for programming is to find some tear jerking story and exploit it to try to lure viewers in. There are numerous attempts at this weekly on SportsCenter and the ESPYs always has more than a couple of these stories. The Caitlyn Jenner story is certainly an attention getter, but in the piece on the show, the award was basically given to Caitlyn for having the courage to stand up to the paparazzi and the press in transitioning to a woman. We’re not too sure what this has to do with the year in sports, but we get it, a former great male athlete became a woman. For god’s sake it’s 2015, most reasonable individuals have little problem with how others want to live their lives. If Bruce Jenner is happier being a woman and transforming into Caitlyn Jenner we’re all for it. The problem is that this award was tainted. The Daily Mail is reporting that Caitlyn Jenner’s PR reps demanded the award in exchange for plugs of Caitlyn’s new reality show and they even threatened to take away the ABC Diane Sawyer interview, which was the first interview in which Bruce addressed becoming Caitlyn. Like everything the Kardashians do, it’s all just a shameless cash grab and the most shameful part of the whole thing is that it’s disguised as raising awareness for transgender individuals. Bottom line – it meant a ton of viewers, ratings, and advertising money for Disney and more money in Caitlyn “Kardashian” Jenner’s pocket.
Caitlyn 2

It’s mostly about the money, right Caitlyn?

  • Let’s move on to more hypocrisy from the Disney Corporation…and this one is about as bad as it gets. In his opening monologue Joel McHale compared domestic abuser Ray Rice to Hitler and Bin Laden among other notorious figures. Rice obviously committed the crime and if the ESPY producers allowed McHale to go there that’s their prerogative. The problem is they then let domestic abuser Hope Solo get on the stage to accept the ESPY with the rest of the U.S. Women’s National Team to end the night. Seem like a double standard? Seem a bit racist to throw the black man in with some of history’s worst people, then glorify the white woman who basically committed a similar crime? It sure does to us. It’s all contained in the video below, have a look.

  • We’ve already spent way too much time dissecting this disaster of a program, but we have to mention the award for best championship performance. ESPN, Disney, The ESPYs – whoever decides on who gets these ridiculous awards, actually gave the award for best championship performance to LeBron James. Think about that for a second. Madison Bumgarner had one of the greatest post seasons in the history of sports when he carried the San Francisco Giants on his back to the World Series title last fall. American Pharoah won the Triple Crown for the first time in 37 years and did it with relative ease. According to the ESPYs LeBron’s runner-up finish in the NBA Finals beat out those other legendary performances from the past year. LeBron himself was dumbfounded on stage after accepting the award. Again the only criteria for winning is showing up to this debacle. The tweet below pretty much sums up the entire awards show.

The fact that Disney, ABC, ESPN and the ESPYs producers have to manufacture these awards and the people who win them just shows how bad of a production this program really is. It’s time for the ESPYs to go away for good, nobody can actually take them seriously.