Fuck You Ann Coulter, Hater of Soccer and Minorities
It’s time for some optimum anger here at Busch League Sports.
The 2014 World Cup is arguably the only outlet that provides countries like Columbia, Greece, Uruguay and Costa Rica the ability to engage in peaceful interaction, or any interaction at all. It is a glorious occasion that provides the forum for countries no larger than the state of Pennsylvania to challenge modern-day super powers on an even playing field. Players fight for their respective flags and in some cases bite each other, but most of the time exchange jerseys and phone numbers after competitive juices are left on the field. This year Americans have something to rally around as our USMNT Program has found a little success, advancing to the coveted round of 16. Insert Ann Coulter and that international feel good turns into a big racist, gun wielding, minority hating shit burger.
So, from the bottom of my heart: FUCK YOU Ann Coulter. And here’s why:
Coulter, the maniacal wind-bag that she is recently wrote in the Clarion Ledger:
If more “Americans” are watching soccer today, it’s only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy’s 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
Hey, strong analysis, Ann. You psycho. Immigration laws have encouraged more soccer viewership in America? Are you aware that Football from an international perspective is more popular than any “American Sport?” Did you know that immigrants comprise the United States? I’m quite certain you don’t descend from a great Native American tribe, so how about your immigrant status?
Here’s a few more beauties from the Klan member Coulter:
“I’ve held off on writing about soccer for a decade—or about the length of the average soccer game—so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay.”
—Ann Coulter, June 25th
“Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation’s moral decay,” Coulter writes before listing all of the reasons why she thinks soccer sucks.
Among these reasons are:
Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer … There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child’s fragile self-esteem is bruised.
Liberal moms like soccer because it’s a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys.
No other ‘sport’ ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer.
The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport and soccer doesn’t have it.
You can’t use your hands in soccer,a fact that, Coulter believes, goes against [w]hat sets man apart from the lesser beasts,i.e., we have opposable thumbs.
The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO’s ‘Girls,’ light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton.
As the World Cup is close to its climax, just remember this as you attempt to drum up support for the team representing your country. If the US loses to Belgium, I place all blame squarely on the shoulders of Ann Coulter. Sadly, she has a large following that is as evil and maniacal as she. I vote for fair competition and good spirited flopping. How about you?