DEADLIFT 4: SUAREZ TAKES AN ITALIAN LUNCH, HAPPY GERMANS, AND BIG LIFE CHANGES

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Updated: June 26, 2014
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Well one thing is for certain; Luis Suarez has insured that World Cup Brazil 2014 will be one that will not be forgotten easily. In a strange, savage, cannibalistic turn of events, Suarez chomped Giorgio Chiellini at the end of Group D’s Uruguay vs. Italy qualifier. The referee missed Luis’ little love nip, and even when Giorgio approached the referee displaying his freshly-hacked shoulder, nothing was done. Suarez’ history of mastication violations truly was something that everyone in football hoped was a thing of the past. The previous incidents with Ajax in the Eredivisie (victim- Ottman Bakal, 2010) and then with Liverpool in the Premier League (victim- Branislav Ivanovic, 2013) were obviously total anomalies and no one should have ever thought that after two chomping incidents, this nasty little biter might decide to take another taste, this time Italian…. There are a few really sordid, lame things about this whole situation. First, Suarez has cast a pall over his team’s heroic efforts to advance in the biggest international football tournament in the world. Second, after doing considerable work to rehabilitate his image and behavior after the first TWO incidents, he is now going to be more reviled and despised and revolting than he ever was before. And thirdly, he brings shame and financial strife to his employer and professional football club Liverpool FC after the club has done everything within its power to protect him, rehabilitate him (and his image) and pay him for playing the game he loves. Just earlier this week, apparently Liverpool and ownership group FSG were entertaining a high-value offer from Suarez’ dream destination, FC Barcelona. Well, when you act like an idiot, it looks like you dreams don’t always pan out, Luis. Doubt a class club like Barca want an idiot like you rousting about, biting fools.

Giorgio Chiellini, the main course...

Giorgio Chiellini, the main course…

Meanwhile, in Recife, there are happy Germans on both sides of the ball; with a little help from an unlikely source, the United States Men’s National Team will be advancing into the knockout rounds (along with Germany) with a wee assist from the Portuguese, who dispatched Ghana on score line of 2-1 to help push the Americans through. At least Ghana has a plane of cash on the way though…that is always nice. German-born flopper and USMNT Head Coach Jürgen Klinsmann was just as happy as the Germans who beat the Americans, as it was a bit of a ‘last laugh’ on the soccer punditry. Across the board, football journalists had the Americans capitulating in the vaunted ‘Group of Death.’

Zee Happy 'American-German' German.

Zee Happy ‘American-German’ German.

Group of what, you say?
And last but not least, make sure you tune in tonight to catch a bit of the NBA draft… In the aftermath of a real bastard like Luis Suarez taking sport and making a violent mockery of it with his on-field transgressions, an institution like the NBA draft can re-instill a little faith in the goodness of sports. Tonight, a number of young men’s lives will change because of their natural basketballing ability and their dedication to the game over the course of their youth, and they will be paid huge sums of money to play a game.

Andrew Wiggins, kicking it with pals, preparing to get PAID.

Andrew Wiggins, kicking it with pals, preparing to get PAID.

Oh, yeah… a game that we will pay huge sums of money to go watch…