Buh Bye Britt McHenry: ESPN Reporter Suspended For Berating Towing Lot Attendant

By
Updated: April 16, 2015
britt mchenry


 

Dear Ms. McHenry –

Britt, Britt, Britt.  How could you feel so low about yourself that you felt you needed to tirade on an average Joe towing lot attendant?  You used to be a #BuschBabe, ESPN reporter and now; you’re a dumb blonde from Jersey.  But at least, you have that college degree.  We hope you can break into South Dakota’s news market because ESPN won’t bring you back.  College and pro franchises shouldn’t allow you the right to correspond from their athletic facilities anymore, so maybe, just maybe you’ll get a gig in Alaska covering the 2015 Iditarod.

The insults you chose to use were so grown up and sophisticated.  You opted to insult a poor service worker for asking you to pay for the towing fees ESPN probably would have refunded you for anyway.  Then you touted up the fact that you have a college degree? Wow!! You’re one of a kind.

Even though your ‘sideline reporting’ has been criticized as being amateurish and largely unwatchable by some, you maintained that position at ESPN based purely upon your dashing good looks, a trait you were sure to call upon with frequency as you criticized that service worker over and over again for her appearance that clearly wasn’t up to snuff for you.

Worst of all for you, we are elated to announce that we’ve revoked your #BuschBabe status, as you no longer represent Busch League Sports in the fashion we demand of all our Busch Babes.  If you’d like a tutorial on what it takes to make #BuschBabe status, widen your gaze over to Chrissy Teigen.  She does positive things with her fame – a class you didn’t bother to attend.

In sum, we suggest you buy a nice winter coat and brush up on the indigenous cultures of Alaska – hell, give Sarah Palin a call.  She may let you stay at her house.  At least your social outlooks are similar.

Sincerely,

BLS